Lesbian Truths: 70% Of Women Are Experiencing Sexual Fluidity, Are You?

Lesbian truths on love and desire

By Top10BestDatingSites Staff

Have you ever felt attracted to both sexes at the same time? If you’ve always known that you are attracted to both, then it’s not so confusing. But what if you’re a woman, one that has been happily married to a man for twenty years, and then suddenly you feel sexual attraction towards a woman?

One of the lesbian truths that research shows is that women have a tendency towards sexual fluidity. Over 70% of women, change their sexual identities from exclusively heterosexual to a position more open within the last ten years, according to Lisa M. Diamond.

Such a large number certainly proves that leaving John for Jane is becoming more common. In fact, a match.com report found that when women previously in relationships with men talked about their new relationships with women, many of them didn’t refer to themselves as lesbians - one on the more common responses was along the lines of “I don’t identify with labels, although I am proud to be who I am."

In her book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire, Diamond explains what sexual fluidity is. “Sexual fluidity," she says, “means situation-dependent flexibility in women’s sexual responsiveness."

Women Love the Individual

A passage from Diamond’s book on one of her interviewees reads, “She explains that she becomes attracted to a person’s soul, and does not consider their biological sex." A study she cites by Edward Laumann shows that four times as many women were attracted to both sexes than those attracted exclusively to their own sex.

Diamond says that women tend to be attracted to qualities of individuals - they are looking for emotional support, for security and trust, for someone they can be friends with and romantically involved with at the same time. Women have emotional needs, and where they look for the kind of fulfilment - that depends on the person who gives it, not on the gender.

A full 25% of the women in Diamond’s study rated themselves as 5 (they definitely agree) for person-based attraction, as opposed to gender-based attraction. Another 25% rated themselves as 4 (they strongly agreed). This means that half of them look for individual and personal traits, not gender-based characteristics.

Professor Richard Lippa, from California State University, supports Diamond’s study. He says, “I have definitely heard some women say, 'It was the person I fell in love with, it wasn't the person's gender,' and I think that that is much more of a female experience than a male experience."

This makes finding your lesbian match a little easier on the head and the heart as women best find their soul-mates through personal relationships.

Finding your lesbian match

Lesbian Truths: Women Focus on Emotional Satisfaction

A 25-year-old interviewee of Diamond told her, “I find it a lot easier to bond with women, and there’s also something really deeply satisfying, there’s an understanding that exists with women that doesn’t automatically exist with men. Another, 22 years old, told Diamond, “Two women can often know each other and understand each other so much better than a man and woman can, because there is that empathy."

Diamond says that women look for “sensitivity, empathy, and sheer aesthetic beauty" in their romantic partners. However, they tend to find all those qualities married together more often in women than they do in men. As a result, especially if they experience some emotions of same-sex attraction, they tend to be more serious when they are looking at a woman as a potential partner.

One of Diamond’s interviewees, 29 years old, told her, “With women I’m looking for a relationship and something meaningful and, you know, potentially being this person’s girlfriend, or whatever. Whereas, honestly, in guys, I’m just kind of looking to have a little fun sometimes."

The prospect of their feelings being taken seriously, and more than that, understood by their partners is a big incentive for women who find themselves with same-sex attractions later in life. Frustration with marriage, or of social hierarchies, remind women to step out and find themselves again. Sometimes, that comes with higher sexual fluidity.

Exploring Love and Freedom Later in Life

Later life becomes important to a woman feeling same-sex attractions when her children are out of the house, and she feels more open to re-discovering herself, according to Diamond.

As discussed earlier, since women are more attracted to the individual, and look for emotional satisfaction, it makes sense that as they get older, they begin to search for more freedom and fulfilment.

If you are concerned with how to meet your lesbian partner, someone closer to your age, rest assured that they have online dating sites for women in this exact scenario. Whether it’s SeniorPeopleMeet or Zoosk, there are plenty of online dating networks for women exploring their freedom and looking for love.

Embrace your beautiful self and switch from John to Jane with help from Zoosk!



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